


I know.

by myspideysensesrtingling



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Anxiety, F/M, Fluff, Homecoming, Marvel - Freeform, Marvel Universe, Mostly Fluff, Peter Parker is a sweetie, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Peter Parker, Reader-Insert, Reader-Interactive, Smart Kids, Some angst, Spider-Man - Freeform, academic decathlon - Freeform, homecoming alternate plot, mcu - Freeform, reader struggles with confidence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-18
Updated: 2019-03-18
Packaged: 2019-11-23 20:06:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18156437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myspideysensesrtingling/pseuds/myspideysensesrtingling
Summary: Friends can say “I love you.” Couples can say “I love you.” What does it take to get from one to the other? A.K.A. four times she said I love you and a fifth time that was a little…different.





	I know.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for a writing challenge hosted by @lovelyspidey and @thelazypangolin on tumblr. The prompt for it is in bold. This is my first piece with some real warnings (though everything ends up ok - I promise!) so I hope I did the issue justice. I tried to describe how I feel when I get a wave come over me but everyone is different. It’ll make sense later. As always, let me know what you think!! Also? Star Wars.

Y/N was a loving girl. She always told her friends she loved them without a second thought. It was nonchalant; a normal occurrence in her speaking that no one second-guessed the meaning of. She’d say it as she parted ways with friends after lunch, after school, and everywhere in between. It was her way of saying goodbye. But Peter Parker? He wanted it to mean more.

Peter liked Y/N as long as he could remember. So long, in fact, that he had been brainstorming ideas for how to ask her to their first high school dance long before the school year even started. Now, it was still a week away, but he would be ready. He wanted to be the one to ask her.

 

* * *

 

**_THURSDAY_ **

As Y/N walked down the hallway, her friend MJ told a joke that lit up her face and – as Peter saw it, at least – illuminated the entire hallway. She was a breath of fresh air; he knew it was cheesy, but after all the crime he fought around Queens, her glowing optimism and gleeful aura reminded him of the good in the world and the reason he protected New York.

Y/N met Peter’s gaze and waved with a cheeky grin as she passed his locker. Peter broke free from his trance with a start and looked down to his shoes. He shook his head and brushed his hair back with his hand as an attempt to reset. His best friend Ned, however, knew Peter’s efforts to forget Y/N were futile.

“You are so whipped, man,” Ned whispered.

Peter’s eyes darted to his friend’s smug face as he shushed him. Ned knew about Peter’s crush and badgered him constantly about it. Given that Peter knew Y/N since middle school, he was relatively used to it by that point.

“Are you _ever_ going to do something about it?” Ned wanted to get the two of them together as much as Peter did. The issue was that Peter wanted everything to be perfect; it had to work. On top of that, he was terrified.

“Yes, Ned, remember? I told you I’m going to ask her to the dance tomorrow,” he mumbled under his breath and partly into the void of his locker.

“And you promise you won’t chicken out?” Ned asked. “I can’t emotionally handle the soap opera that is your life much longer.”

Though Peter knew his friend was joking, the butterflies in his stomach were whipping around at the thought of asking Y/N to the dance. They had been friends since he could remember, but he had to do it. He _had_ to.

The day dragged on like any other before Peter, Ned, MJ, and Y/N found themselves in P.E. The class was going to play modified hockey in the gym and today they would be learning how to hold and use hockey sticks correctly. They stood in line to get their stick and spread out to practice their technique with demonstrations by the teacher. Peter and Ned were just behind MJ and Y/N, who stood talking while they waited for the rest of the class to get their sticks.

Feeling bored waiting, Peter and Ned seized the opportunity to act out a lightsaber duel with their hockey sticks, crashing them together as they had with actual lightsaber toys many times before. The noise was enough to distract Y/N from her conversation with MJ.

Y/N spun around, her expression both playful and devious, with her hockey stick raised. She immediately jumped in and separated the boys using her own pretend lightsaber to stop the fight.

“Young Jedi,” she voiced, easily falling into character. “Stop playing, you must. Starting soon, class is.”

She stepped back, starting to giggle as Peter and Ned simultaneously replied. “Yes, Master Yoda,” they said with bowed heads. Even with his head down, Peter couldn’t help but peek up at her one more time before their teacher blew the whistle to start class.

Y/N met his stare and goofily shook her head. “You guys are so annoying.” She turned around to face the front before glancing back over her shoulder. “But I love you anyway.”

Y/N chuckled and returned her focus to class. Ned, meanwhile, side-eyed his pining friend’s face as blush filled his rounded cheeks that couldn’t stop smiling.

 

* * *

 

**_FRIDAY_ **

Ned stopped Peter as they stood at the library door after school. They had decathlon practice after school, but that was the last thing on their minds. The day before, Peter – along with Ned’s help of course – meticulously planned how Peter would ask Y/N to homecoming after decathlon practice. This moment, standing at the library door, was the last moment they could talk before the plan was in motion.

“No chickening out,” Ned reminded his friend for the thousandth time that day.

“Not helping, Ned.” Peter’s voice was already shaking and his hands trembled. Everything was ready, but nothing could stop the butterflies still in his stomach from turning into what felt like wasps buzzing around violently.

“Dude, it’s going to be perfect. If all else fails, do this for me, ok? I’ve shipped you two together for ages.”

Peter rolled his eyes playfully as Ned opened the door and the duo headed over to the usual table and sat down with their teammates.

Decathlon practice went as usual with question after question answered correctly. Mr. Harrington hit all the subjects – calculus, history, geography, art, English, biology, chemistry, and more. Time flew by and, before they knew it, the extracurricular bell rang and practice was over. Peter caught Ned’s eyes and they both nodded; the plan was officially a go.

Peter snagged his backpack and darted out of the library as quickly as possible. He trotted out the front doors of his school, heart already pounding and nerves running rampant. He made his way to the street, down the block, and around the corner, until he finally reached the alley he frequently used to suit up. His suit spilled out of the front pocket of his backpack as soon as he unzipped it, and checking to make sure he was alone, Peter stripped down and suited up as he would any other day. But today was not any other day.

* * *

 

Back in the library, Ned and MJ (whose help Ned enlisted) stuck by Y/N’s side. The three of them planned to go to Y/N’s house after school to watch a movie, but Ned’s job was to stall. A few extra minutes was all Peter needed.

“Y/N, do you mind helping me with a few more questions?” Ned asked, holding her up as she was trying to pack up.

“Of course, Ned. What do you need help with?” she replied, confused as to why Ned wanted to practice extra on a Friday afternoon when normally he was the one trying to get out of there.

“I was hoping,” Ned prefaced, summoning his best puppy-dog eyes, “that you could explain the Uncertainty Principle and a little Quantum Theory to me? Please?”

“Um, sure. What specifically about those do you want me to explain?”

Ned hesitated. He wanted to give Peter as long as possible just in case the spider-boy couldn’t help himself from stopping a crime on his way.

“All of it?”

“That might take me a few minutes, but ok. For starters, the Uncertainty Principle basically says that there is a fundamental limit to the precision with which the qualities of a particle can be known. Do you want me to get more complex than that?”

“Please,” Ned replied, satisfied with his efforts to delay the trio. MJ, sitting at the other end of the table, mirrored his satisfaction and texted Peter.

 

* * *

 

“Mr. Parker?” Karen prompted as Peter swung from building to building with his backpack strapped on tight. “You have a new text message from MJ. She said, “The princess has been delayed successfully. The plan is a go. Good luck. Over.”

“Thanks, Karen,” Peter replied, his voice cracking with his nerves. “Hey, do you think this is a bad idea?”

“Based on the amount you’ve talked about her, Peter, I would say waiting any longer would be a bad idea.”

“I don’t talk about her that often!” Peter protested. “Thanks though, I guess.”

Peter shot his web to the next building, letting go of the one behind him and launching himself forward. The wind whipped through the mask and wicked away his nervous sweat as he soared through the sky, thankful no one could see the panic he felt inside.

 

* * *

 

After Y/N answered all of Ned’s questions, the group packed up and headed to the train to go to her house. They boarded, giggling about the stupid things Flash said earlier and their movie marathon plans, until the speakers finally crackled to indicate that it was time for the train to depart.

“The doors are closing. Please stand clear. Next stop: first street. The train is departing. Please hold on.”

The train lurched forward, knocking some of the adult passengers off balance but failing to bother the teenagers.

“Hey, where’s Peter?” Y/N asked suddenly given that the four of them normally watched movie marathons together.

“He told me he had spider duty for the Stark internship for a bit this afternoon and would try to head over afterward,” Ned explained. After Ned found out by walking in on Peter earlier in the school year, Peter felt compelled to inform his other friends as well. It was partially a result of Ned’s begging to tell them so he didn’t have to keep it a secret, but Peter also didn’t want them to feel like he was ditching them all the time. He especially didn’t want Y/N to think he didn’t like her. Quite the opposite, actually.

As the train pulled into their stop by Y/N’s house, MJ shot Peter a second text. _Getting off train and escorting princess to house. Estimated arrival in t-five minutes. Over_. Karen read the text to Peter as before, but Peter this time nodded along, already in position in Y/N’s driveway. He repeated the words he wanted to say to her over and over in his head, each time stumbling over different words and requiring encouragement from Karen. Finally, his spidey sense tingled and he could hear them walking toward the house, still a block away, but approaching every second.

Y/N’s head fell back in laughter at something Ned said just as they turned into her driveway. As soon as she looked ahead again, she spotted a white fiber running up her driveway. She followed it with her eyes until her gaze landed on Spider-Man – er, Peter Parker – suited up and hanging by his feet from the overhang of her garage.

“Peter? What are you doing?” She asked, stepping in front of Ned and MJ. Ned and MJ shuddered with excitement and relief that this was finally happening.

“Y/N,” Peter started before clearing his throat. He shot out a web to the yard, pulling a poster up to him and turning it so it was no longer upside down for her to read. He didn’t need to read it, anyway; he had the words perfected and memorized. He shot a second web to the other side of the yard to retrieve a fresh bouquet of red roses. With a deep breath, he slipped off the mask and popped the question.

“Would you be my Spider- _Woman_ and _swing_ to homecoming with me?”

Peter held his breath – everything was perfect so far – but the most important was yet to come. Wishing for his mask back to hide his desperation, he looked into her eyes as she took in the costumed boy hanging from her roof. Behind her, Ned and MJ leaned in, straining to be a part of every word.

What seemed to Peter like minutes later – though really it was only a second or two – Y/N beamed up at her upside-down friend. “It would be an honor, Spider-Man.” She strode toward him, the smile and now-glistening eyes never fading. Peter froze with both embarrassment and excitement flooding through him. _Had she said yes?_

“I’d love to go to homecoming with you, Peter.” She smiled wider, hands drifting up to his shoulders to steady him as she stood on her tiptoes and pressed a kiss to his cheek. He blushed even redder than the day before as he flipped down from the roof and landed on his feet right in front of her, his own smile now beaming down at her.

He handed her the flowers after nearly forgetting he had them, then pulled her in for a hug. They were great friends and hugged countless times before, but Peter, heart pounding out of his chest and swelling all at the same time, still got excited every time.

“Love you, Pete,” Y/N whispered as they pulled away, cheeks straining from smiling so wide. “Does this mean you’re going to let me try your web shooters? If I’m supposed to swing to homecoming?” She taunted.

Peter grinned but shook his head as she laughed and trotted inside with MJ to set up the movie marathon and get the flowers in a vase. Peter turned to watch her go in the front door as Ned walked up behind him to catch a fist-bump before heading inside themselves.

* * *

**_SUNDAY_ **

Even with his alarm going off early on a weekend, Peter hadn’t been able to stop smiling. The girl of his dreams was going to homecoming with him. With him! He couldn’t wait. But as excited as he was for the following Saturday, he reminded himself that he needed to focus. Sunday, the Midtown decathlon team had a large competition they just had to win. _Plus_ , Peter thought in the back of his mind, _it’s another chance to see and impress her_. Sure, it was a distraction, but it was also his best motivation.

Peter jogged into the auditorium as May went to park the car. It was relatively quiet other than their team and their opponents sitting up at their respective tables at the front, fitting in whatever last-minute studying they could. The seats in the crowd filled up one-by-one as the start time ticked closer and closer.

Finally, it was time to start, and the teammates standing scurried over to their seats as the moderator approached the podium. Peter took his seat, doing his best not to look out into the crowd of judging eyes.

“Hello and welcome to today’s academic decathlon between Midtown School of Science and Technology and the Queens Institute of Science.” He explained the rules briefly before rolling straight into questions.

“Question 1. What is meant by the phrase “turn genes on” or, alternatively, “turn genes off”?”

Peter snapped to attention as Y/N smashed the buzzer from the seat to his right. “Hox genes determine whether specific genes are expressed in a particular place and time,” she recited as he stuck out his hand and nudged her shoulder for a fist bump that she happily returned.

“Correct! Ten points to Midtown. Question 2. Maddalena Casulana is best known for what contribution?”

Now it was MJ who hit the buzzer and blurted out the answer with more energy in her voice than every other time she spoke combined. “Maddalena Casulana is best known for publishing the first book of madrigals by a female composer.”

Teammates patted her on the back as the moderator confirmed her answer and granted Midtown ten more points. Questions proceeded like this, with the opponents getting some along the way, throughout the competition. By the end, however, it was a landslide.

“We’re down to our final question, and Midtown leads the Queens Institute 400-90. Question 50. What economic value measures the responsiveness of the quantity demanded to a change in price?”

Peter jumped out of his seat as he hit the buzzer, slinking back down as he realized all eyes were on him. “ _Elasticity_ measures how much one economic variable responds to changes in another economic variable,” he explained, holding his breath such that the minor microphone static could be heard throughout the auditorium.

“Correct! And with that, Midtown School of Science and Technology wins today’s competition against the Queens Institute of Science by a commanding score of 410-90!”

The Midtown team jumped out of their seats in celebration as the home crowd cheered. Y/N nudged Peter’s shoulder for a fist bump just as he had earlier. He returned the gesture but then held his arms out wide as he smiled down at her, so proud of how successful they were. She drifted into him and he closed his arms around her as the team continued to celebrate around them, jumping up and down between their own hugs.

“You were awesome today,” he praised, in awe of her intelligence.

“So were you,” she grinned until MJ came up and grabbed her arm to have her turn to celebrate with Y/N. “Love you, Pete!” she called after him, looking back as MJ dragged her away.

Peter’s spirits shot up as he walked over to celebrate with his teammates. He couldn’t help but feel slightly guilty for the fact that his celebration was primarily due to Y/N’s words.

* * *

 

**_FRIDAY_ **

The week had gone by as would any other with Peter bouncing from school to decathlon practice to the Stark internship to home. He hung out with Ned, MJ, and Y/N a couple of times as usual, too. Now, though, besides the usual group texts finding times to hang out, he had an excuse to text Y/N about the dance that weekend. He’d start a conversation by asking her what color her dress was, what time she wanted to leave for the dance, and if the plan he worked out was ok with her. But then they’d keep texting and texting, Peter even pausing between criminals while on patrols to reply.

On Friday, the day before the dance, he texted her almost as soon as he was on patrol after decathlon practice. He swung through the city, building to building, when he enlisted Karen’s help.

“Karen?” he grunted as he shot out the next web and let go of the one behind him. “Would you text Y/N and tell her I can’t wait for homecoming with her tomorrow?”

“Sure, Mr. Parker. Would you like to add a smiling emoji to the end of your message?”

“Oh, yes, nice touch, Karen. Thank you!”

Not a second after the message sent did Peter spy a pickpocket on the streets below him. He swept down and shot a web at the thief along the way, attention now solely on protecting Queens.

Meanwhile, Y/N arrived home and meandered into her bedroom without turning on a single light. She tossed her backpack onto her bed and slumped into her desk chair, head immediately resting on her arms. A yellow post-it note stuck to her desk right above her arms with a note scribbled on it from her mom in black ink.

> _Dad and I have a work function tonight and will be home late. Get some sleep and we’ll see you in the morning. Love, Mom_

After a quick glance at it, Y/N’s head fell back in her arms. With a sigh, she sat up and hefted her AP calculus textbook off the ground and flipped to her homework page. Her phone stayed in her backpack, still on silent from school.

She worked tirelessly to complete the weekend’s assignment as well as all those for the following week. The more she could get done that afternoon, she thought, the less stress she’d have the day of homecoming. The thought of it as she planned her weekend brought her own butterflies to her stomach, unaware the nerves were mutual.

As she checked the answer to the last problem – which she answered correctly, of course – she tapped out for the night. The sun set out her window; only the smallest fraction was still visible over the horizon. She stood up to go to her bathroom and get everything ready for the following day. Makeup, curling iron, and perfume – she got it all set out. Finally, she rinsed off and toweled her hair dry before slipping back into her room.

The only thing left to prep was her dress. She gingerly pulled it and the clear plastic bag encasing it out of her closet and hung it on her door. The short, navy dress was her favorite dress she ever owned. It was completely lace with a thin navy layer of satin fabric below the lace everywhere but the sleeves. The sleeves were three-quarter length and, like the entire bodice, hugged tightly. It fell more casually below the waist, loosening to drop over the hips before ending about halfway down her thigh.

As she looked at it still in the plastic bag hanging on her door, she couldn’t help feeling excited to wear it. She had never been a girly-girl, but this was an opportunity for Peter to see her in something other than school clothes or pajamas as he always did. This was an opportunity to be pretty, for once.

For no reason other than her excitement, she dropped her towel and slipped the dress on. It fit like a glove, that was for sure. But as she closed her closet door and looked at her reflection in her floor-length mirror, she didn’t feel the expected excitement as she had the first time she put it on. The dress was beautiful on the website, beautiful hanging on her door, and even beautiful laid out on her bed. Despite its perfect fit, she suddenly feared it wasn’t beautiful _enough_.

Y/N looked deeper into the reflection staring back at her as her mind conjured up all the possible ways the dance could go wrong. _What if I do something stupid? What if everyone thinks my dress is weird? What if I fall in heels?_ Her worries started at a surface level but it didn’t take long before she spiraled, down further and further. She watched unmoving as her eyes glossed over, each self-criticism and worry more pointed than the last. _What if everyone says I’m ugly? I already am. What if everyone hates me? They probably do._

A single, salty tear rolled down her left cheek before she could hastily pull herself away, stripping the dress off and throwing it on her desk in exchange for baggy sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt. An uncontrollable urge pulled her back to the mirror, forcing her to survey her wet hair, makeup-less face, and tragically unflattering outfit. The sight tipped her spiral over the edge; she crumpled to the ground and caught her head in her hands as tear after tear streamed down the tracks on her face.

She couldn’t remember how this wave of misery started or how it escalated; the only thought that consumed her was that she wasn’t _enough_. Searching for some way out of whatever this feeling was, she crawled across the floor to her backpack and pulled out her phone before slumping back into the same position as before.

* * *

 

Across the city, Peter swung up to and on top of the Bank of Queens after stopping a robber from breaking into their vault. Thankfully, the burglar wasn’t armed, but that hadn’t stopped him from trying to take hostages and snag some cash. It was nothing Spider-Man couldn’t handle, however, and Peter easily stopped the thief and called the police before anything got out of hand.

Settled on top of the roof and spotting the sun beginning its descent, Peter realized Y/N never texted him back. This was strange given the conversations they had the previous days that week where she’d respond instantly and, if she didn’t, if was because she already informed him she was going to practice (she was an athlete too – what couldn’t she do?) or had some appointment. This time, though, there was nothing.

“Karen, did Y/N ever reply? I don’t remember hearing a message from her,” Peter asked, hoping his message hadn’t annoyed her or something.

“No, Mr. Parker, she never replied. Would you like to text her again?”

“I don’t think so…I mean, what do you think, Karen?” he asked, not having much experience in the “more than friends” department. Although it wasn’t like Karen did either, he chuckled as he went on. “I don’t want to bug her, but it seems weird she didn’t reply.”

“Based on my analysis of your conversations this week, I would agree, Mr. Parker.” Though Karen was as romantically inept as Peter himself, he couldn’t help but feel a bit of relief at her assurance. That was until Karen alerted him of an incoming message, reading it to him as it popped up on his mask’s display.

> **Y/N:** are you on patrol

The unpunctuated and odd message baffled Peter. She had either ignored or not gotten his text, both of which seemed unlikely.

> **Peter:** Yes, what’s up?

_Casually_ cool, he thought. It was a strange way for her to start a conversation but that didn’t mean that he was going to pass it up. He slipped off the mask and pulled out his actual phone, holding his breath and excitement as the three dots popped up, disappeared for a minute, and then returned briefly before the next message arrived.

> **Y/N:** can you come over

If Peter thought he felt baffled before, it was nothing in comparison to how he felt now. He had been to her house countless times but never like this. It was usually to hang out along with Ned and MJ in tow. On top of that, it was getting late and they’d be hanging out most of the weekend. He knew she was smarter than him, so it wasn’t like she needed homework help, either. His heart sank; he couldn’t figure out what was going on and, more importantly, where his energetic, goofy, loving best friend went.

Despite his uncertainty, he pulled his mask back on and shot a web out in the direction of her house without hesitation. His mind continued jumping to conclusions with each swing. He asked Karen to tell her he was on his way, hoping for an explanation in a third message that never arrived.

It didn’t take him long to cross the city, but the suburbs just outside were a little trickier. He swung between trees like Tarzan, trotted along roofs, and hopped over fences in backyards, dealing with the occasional stumble as his mind was undividedly on Y/N.

Finally, what felt like hours later, he scaled the side of her house, traversed the roof, and used a web to lower himself to her window on the second floor. The blinds were closed and there were no lights on; if he hadn’t known better, he’d think no one was home. He slipped off the mask and inhaled as he tapped his knuckles against the glass a couple of times, then pulled his arm back and waited.

The blinds, then the window itself, opened promptly. Though the sun had now set and her light was off, the faint moonlight was more than enough for Peter to see the dried tear streaks down Y/N’s face. His own panic surged as he hopped inside and she closed the window behind him without a word.

Peter stared at her in the dark room. Her eyes fell to the floor and she stood motionless and silent – two terms Peter never before would’ve considered to describe her.

“What’s going on?” He finally asked. He stepped to her desk to turn on the lamp as he waited for her response, but she still fell silent. She bit her bottom lip and pressed her eyes together, trying to smile and fight the feelings back but failing. A second wave of tears started poking out the outer corners of her eyes, squeezed out by how forcefully she shut her eyes and by how forcefully she fought back emotions.

Peter’s eyes narrowed and he stepped closer. “Y/N, what’s going on?” He repeated. “What’s wrong?” He lowered his eyes to meet hers as she pried them back open. She sniffled and hesitated before piecing together her words.

“This wave hit me,” she sniffled again, this time accentuated with a small hiccup, “and I didn’t know what to do.” She collapsed back to the same spot on the floor, back pressed up against her bed. Peter crouched down in front to her, then decided on sitting down and took a seat beside her.

He had never seen this side of her, this expression of vulnerability. No part of it scared him away; on the contrary, he found himself drawing into her, aching to support her in her struggle. “What do you mean by ‘wave?’ What’s making you upset?” He chose his words carefully; this was uncharted territory for the boy but all he wanted was to relieve her of her pain.

“I don’t know,” she mumbled, “one second I was excited and went to put on my dress for tomorrow again and the next thing I knew… _this_ happened,” she hiccupped again, pointing at her watering eyes. She hugged her knees to her chest and dropped her head such that her forehead rested on her knees.

Reassured by the fact she had been excited about the dance not long ago, he convinced himself to reach out and rest his hand on her rounded back, softly rubbing clockwise circles. “Do you want to talk about it? Or figure out why it happened?”

“I know why it happened,” she replied, her voice muffled as her face was still buried in her knees. “But it’s stupid.”

“Hey,” he said quickly. The hand on her back found her shoulder and pulled her up so he could see her face. “Whatever it is, it’s not stupid. You don’t have to, but you can tell me anything.” He smiled weakly, his heart breaking at the sight of the despondent girl by his side.

She took a few deep breaths while the intensity of the sniffles subsided. “I spiraled,” she admitted, getting comfortable saying the words out loud. “Seeing myself in the dress and realizing the dance was tomorrow I just…spiraled.” She paused, trying to pry out the feelings buried inside. “It started with a fear I would look stupid, or do something stupid, or say something stupid, or be stupid. It got more and more serious…I told myself I’m ugly, that no one actually likes me, and that I’m worthless.”

Though sitting up, her eyes fell shut in defeat. She struggled to blink back open, eyes unmoving and peering at a spot on the carpet as she chastised herself for saying those things out loud. Peter, on the other hand, wanted immediately to dispute everything she said. None of it was true; he couldn’t fathom how she could believe a single word. But here she was, trapped by these false claims and feeling completely alone.

“Y/N, I promise you, _none_ of those things are true. No matter what your head is telling you, please listen to me. Nothing about you – how you look, what you do, what you say, or how you act – none of those are stupid. Honestly, I’d say the opposite. For one thing,” he pulled her shoulder up again and peered straight into her eyes, though unsure of where this newfound courage came from, “you’re absolutely beautiful, everything you do is incredible, you only say the most brilliant things, and you are one of the kindest people I’ve ever met.”

Her eyes dropped from his and looked down again as her eyes pressed closed, far more softly this time, and she forced her lips into a soft smile. He could tell it was forced and that she hadn’t internalized it and took it upon himself to keep going.

“For another thing, I can’t think of a single person at school who doesn’t like you. Besides, even if someone didn’t, who cares what they think? Ned, MJ, and I care so much about you, and—”

“You do?” she interrupted, voice cracking.

“I—I mean, we—of course we do. You’re our best friend.” He looked at her again, somehow finding even more courage he didn’t know he had. “Y/N, you’re really important to me.”

She smiled, even if only slightly more genuinely this time, as she turned to him with glossy eyes. Warmed by her response, he kept going.

“Most importantly,” he started, eyes narrowing even further to gaze deeper into hers. “You are worthy of anyone and anything. You deserve the world.” His voice had dropped to nearly a whisper but it was more than loud enough for the two of them sitting side-by-side on Y/N’s bedroom floor. He placed his arm around to her far shoulder this time and rested his hand on top of it. “I’ll do anything to help you realize it.”

She blinked a few times before smiling just slightly wider than the previous time. But in this instance Peter could see a change in her eyes; a glimmer of hope that hadn’t been there minutes ago. She leaned back and rested her head on his shoulder and gently closed her eyes. Peter moved his hand down from her right shoulder to her arm, pulling her into him just slightly and gently stroking it up and down. She sniffled once more and Peter rested his own head on top of hers.

“Thank you, Pete,” she whispered. He felt her slowly putting more and more of the weight of her head on his shoulder, both literally and in trust.

“Believe me, you’re incredible,” he muttered, closing his own eyes for a second.

“Love you,” she murmured, eyes closing more heavily as her whole body pressed more heavily into Peter’s side. Hand on her back, Peter felt her heart rate slowing and breathing deepening as she drifted to sleep. He basked in their closeness and her comment before cautiously lifting his head and holding her head up while he turned to scoop her up. He tentatively rested her head against the front of his shoulder while he slid his arms underneath her shoulders and knees, lifting her up. He turned slowly and delicately set her down on her bed, taking utmost care in resting her head on the pillows comfortably. He pulled her comforter up over her and brushed a strand of hair out of her face while her body eased into the mattress.

“Love you, too,” Peter whispered, grabbing another post-it note and jotting something down. He stuck the note to the window at the end of her bed before quietly opening the blinds and said window to hop out. He pulled on his mask and smiled beneath it, content with his expression of his feelings despite Y/N’s deep sleep. He shot a web up to her roof to hang from it, closed the window behind him, and swung off into the night, thoughts focused on how to show Y/N how worthy she truly was.

* * *

 

**_SATURDAY_ **

Y/N woke up the following morning when the sun poured into her room through her window. She couldn’t remember how she got to her bed but remembered Peter was there. Relaxing as she thought back to him being so kind and understanding, she looked up to her window, her eyes immediately falling on a bright note stuck to the glass. She sat up and crawled to the edge of her bed, reaching out and pulling the note down with the tip of her fingers. Sitting with her legs crossed at the end of her bed, she read the note.

> _Y/N – I had to go home so May wouldn’t worry, but if you need anything I’m always a text away. I’m so relieved you texted me yesterday because to see you feeling upset was painful but knowing you were upset alone before I got there breaks my heart. You are and will always be one of my best friends and I’ll always be there to support you. Never forget how incredible you are. If you do, give me a call, and I’ll remind you :)_
> 
> _< 3 – Peter -->_

Y/N saw the arrow at the edge of the note and flipped it over, finding a little more scribbled on the back.

> _P.S. I can’t wait for homecoming with you tonight. It’s going to be a blast and there’s no one else I’d rather be going with! See you soon :)_

She clung to the note and her focus drifted out the window. It felt cliché, like she was in a music video (or, better yet, like she was little and looking out the car window in the rain while listening to music), except it was real. Flooding with warmth despite the chilly morning, she stuck the note back to her window with care and scampered to the kitchen for breakfast.

* * *

 

Now just an hour before he needed to leave for the dance, Peter hopped out of the shower and toweled off. He shaved his nonexistent facial hair and liberally applied deodorant followed by brand-new cologne. He slipped on his navy pants – May had rented the suit specifically to match Y/N’s dress – and crisp white dress shirt, then started trying to comb his hair. Rolling curls stuck out this way and that; somehow not even his strong gel could tame them. Eventually, May came in with her hair dryer and smoothed over both the spikey hair and his nerves.

He tucked in his shirt as smoothly as possible and whipped out the tie. May found a YouTube video and the rest of the time he spent getting ready was figuring out how to tie it. Finally, he laced up his shiny black dress shoes and pulled his navy suit coat on as May smooshed down one more curl on the back of his head. He snagged the corsage from the fridge and ran out the front door right behind May.

The group was going to meet and take pictures place at Ned’s house. May had driven there enough times and knew the route without Peter having to tell her, which he was thankful for as his mouth was too dry and brain too jittery to say anything clearly. They pulled up at Ned’s and parked on the street between cars Peter instantly recognized as belonging to MJ’s and Y/N’s parents. May ushered him up to the front door which, again, he was thankful for as his legs seemed to not be working underneath him. 

Ned greeted them at the door and thanked them for coming, ever the gracious host. As soon as Ned opened the door further for them to come in, Peter saw her. She faced away from him, her hair cascading over her shoulders and the laced navy dress she wore fitting her personality and style just right. She laughed then, steadying herself of MJ’s shoulder.

Suddenly both his arms were being pulled in through the door frame by May and Ned. Ned closed the door behind him while May looked Peter up and down as if checking him for injuries.

“What’s gotten into you?” May pried. Peter stared just over her shoulder like a puppy begging for a treat. May got the hint and turned around, spotting the girl behind her. She shook Peter’s shoulders lightly while Ned stood by intently. “You have to focus, buddy. It’s game time. You got this.”

Ned nodded along with her pep-talk and gave Peter a thumbs up. May stepped aside and Peter’s path to Y/N was clear. Across the room, MJ leaned down to Y/N and whispered something in her ear and pointed to Peter behind her, causing her to turn around.

Peter felt like he was in one of those videos where they show the groom seeing his bride walk down the aisle. A forceful push from Ned brought him back to reality: he was a boy with a crush on a girl he had been friends with forever and they were going to homecoming together. And maybe she had fallen asleep with her head on his shoulder the night before. And maybe she had kissed him on the cheek when he asked her to the dance. And maybe she liked him, too.

Everything flashed through Peter’s mind as he stepped toward her, who now faced him with a soft but widening grin on her face. As soon as he saw her face light up, the tension binding Peter melted away and he opened his arms wide to pull her in for a hug. Neither of them knew it, but both their eyes drifted closed for just a second until they realized others were around and separated.

“You…you look beautiful,” Peter said, hands fidgeting around the corsage box. “As always,” he added with a wink, though again not completely sure where this wave of confidence came from.

“You clean up pretty well yourself, Peter Parker.” Y/N looked up at him with big eyes through her lashes. “Which is unusual for you, so good job,” she teased, giggling. He only smiled wider – he couldn’t be mad at her if he tried.

“No, really though. Y/N…you are—"

“Hi, Y/N, it’s so good to see you!” May interjected, pulling Y/N in for a hug. Peter took the opportunity to step aside and say hello to Y/N’s parents standing nearby talking with other parents. They knew him well, of course, and recognized him instantly.

“Peter! You look so dapper!” Y/N’s mom exclaimed, pinching his arm. “Your suit matches her dress perfectly – you were made to be a couple!” Y/N’s dad stepped up behind his wife. Peter had been dreading this – Y/N’s dad loved him, but every movie dad _hated_ their daughter’s boyfriend. He wasn’t her boyfriend (yet, he hoped) but who knows.

“You do look good, kid. Thanks for asking Y/N to the dance tonight. She hasn’t stopped talking about it or you all week!”

Given his fear of how that conversation _could_ have gone, Y/N’s father’s comments brightened Peter’s outlook for the night. If that was even possible. _She_ hadn’t stopped talking about _him_?

“Thank you, thank you so much. I’m just happy she was willing to go with me!” They all laughed until Y/N and May walked over, the rest of the kids having arrived. Everyone exchanged their corsages and boutonnieres while parents started going wild for pictures. Pictures of each kid with their date, pictures of all the girls, pictures of all the boys, pictures of everyone together, and every candid they could get. Once nearly all the possible pictures had been taken, parents began filing out.

Y/N’s dad walked over to Peter and tapped him on the shoulder on his way out. “Have a good time, kiddo. Take care of her for me,” he said with a grin, and stepped out the front door. The only parents left were Ned’s, who lived there and would be driving them to the school in their family’s minivan.

Peter stuck his arm out for Y/N as they walked outside and hopped in. The two of them clambered into the back row while MJ, her date Abraham, and Ned’s date Betty sat in the middle. Ned sat up front with his dad and controlled the AUX, a role he claimed to be “destined” for.

It would only be a few minutes before they got to the school as Ned lived only minutes away. Still, Y/N felt once again like she was in a music video, staring out of the car window as Ned’s music blasted from speakers in all directions. Peter glanced over at her, a wide smile already on his face. The glow from the traffic lights was enough to see her and the at least partially-restored hopefulness in her eyes compared to the night before. Her hands sat together in her lap, her head relaxed a little off to one side as she watched the city around them.

Peter reached over and placed his hand on top of hers, instantly pulling her attention to first their hands and then to Peter’s face. She looked at him expectantly, her eyes somehow delicate but strong. Music too loud for any real conversation, Peter mouthed, “doing ok?” to which she nodded and smiled softly. Just as he was about to pull his hand back in case she was uncomfortable, Y/N laced her fingers through his and beamed at him across the backseat with excitement twinkling in her eyes.

All too soon, the van pulled up outside the school. Ned hopped out and slid open the automatic door for Betty while MJ opened it for herself on the other side. Abraham clambered out behind MJ with Peter and Y/N close behind. The teens thanked Mr. Leeds and walked into the school, chattering and laughing all the while.

They walked through the hallways and eventually reached the gym doors. The main gym lights were off but spotlights flitted around; a disco ball hung from the center and reflected moving beams of light throughout the space. A DJ up front was already playing a new song with the dance floor just in front of him. On the opposite side there was a long table with drinks and a few snacks, and in the middle of the room, there were tables and chairs with some worn-out students taking a break.

All six kids immediately made a run for the dance floor as some pop song from the radio boomed through the speakers. The kids all jumped up and down in a circle, everyone having fun with their friends. Song after song came on and they all had a blast, all slightly out of their comfort zones but enjoying good company.

Eventually, the floor got a little hot and Y/N stepped away to grab some water. Peter followed, sitting down with her at a table while they sipped refreshments.

“Are you having a good time?” Y/N asked.

Slightly taken aback as he hadn’t even questioned it, he chuckled. “Of course! Are…are you?”

Y/N beamed back at him. “I’m having a blast.”

“Y/N! Y/N!” MJ and Betty ran up to them hand-in-hand and somewhat out of breath. “The guys are taking a break – come dance with us!” Their dates came up behind Peter and plopped down at their table with lemonades.

Y/N smiled and looked from her friends to Peter, eyebrows raised minutely as if asking for permission. Peter felt her gaze and turned to her, eyebrows furrowing. “You don’t have to ask me,” he laughed with an encouraging nod toward the DJ. “Go!” MJ and Betty pulled Y/N’s arm and dragged her off. She turned briefly and grinned at a glimpse of Peter giving her a thumbs up and a wink.

Ned, now alone with Abraham and, more importantly, Peter, jumped on the opportunity for interrogation. “Dude!” he punched Peter’s shoulder excitedly. “You and Y/N? Tell us the deets!”

“I don’t know, Ned,” Peter said, his crooked smile never leaving his face. He peeked at the dance floor and saw Y/N having fun with her friends. “I just…really…really like her…and…and I think she might like me too.”

Ned nearly jumped with joy. “Finally! I told you! What made you see it?”

“I just…I guess I just talked to her a lot this week? We texted every day after school, late at night, all the time. She’s kind and funny and easy to talk to and—”

“That’s great, but, gotta go!” Ned bolted off, as did Abraham. Removed from his reminiscent trance by Ned’s abrupt departure, Peter looked around, confused at first until he heard the characteristic slow song now melodically flooding the room. He stood up and saw Y/N immediately, standing out from the crowd like a cliché movie. He cringed at the thought but, deep down, was in love with the moment.

He walked over to her and shyly stuck out his hand. “May I have this dance?”

“No,” she said sternly, staring off into the crowd for just a second until she could no longer suppress her laughter at his panic. She turned back to him with a cheeky smile and took his frozen hand. Filled with relief, Peter moved his hands to her hips while hers snaked up around his neck.

“Is this ok?” he asked, his face only a few inches above and in front of hers. She nodded and quietly hummed along to the music while they swayed back and forth in the sea of teenagers.

“Peter?” She turned to him and met his gaze, which had yet to leave her face. “I…thank you. For everything.” The chorus of the slow song echoed off the walls of the gym. “For taking care of me yesterday and for letting me have a fun time tonight. I’m really sorry I kept you up last night and for needing you to check in on me. I just—”

“Y/N.”

“I just really trust you, and I’m so thankful to have you, and so thankful we got close this week, and—”

“Y/N.”

“I don’t know what I’d do without you, Peter, I just—”

“Y/N!” It was her turn to freeze now, nervous words no longer rambling from her lips. The corners of Peter’s mouth tilted upward, quickly stretching ear to ear as she scanned his face.

“Yes?”

“It’s ok,” he assured, leaning his head toward her just slightly. “Please, you don’t have to thank me. You know I’d…I’d do anything for you. I’d…I’d even force Spider-Man to put his duties on hold so I could come see you.” Her eyes pressed shut and her head fell forward, resting on his chest for a moment as she snorted. His heart pounded beneath her forehead and he hoped she couldn’t tell. She lifted her head and met his tender gaze, soft smiles gracing both their lips as they snickered.

“I really would do anything for you,” Peter sustained, “I…I love you.” A weak yet desperately hopeful smile formed on his face as he held his breath and stared at her. As usual, she smiled.

“I know,” she replied, deadpan.

Peter’s heart sank for a split second before it occurred to him. “Did you…did you just Han Solo me?” It only took a moment for her to break character and for both of them to laugh it off. **“You’re so annoying. I love you,”** he hesitated, wanting to cement it more. “Like, I _love_ love you.”

This time, she _smiled_. Her grin spread ear to ear, cheeks rounding as she bit her bottom lip on one side and, as Peter would describe it, glowed. “I love love you, too, Peter Parker.” She clarified, smiling wider and wider with each word.

He looked back at her, elated, just as the slow song ended and more dance music swept over them. Sticking together, they meandered through the floor to find the rest of the crew and enjoyed the rest of the night awkwardly jumping up and down to the music with their friends.

* * *

 

An hour later, the DJ announced the last song and the dance floor began to open up. Feeling wiped out themselves, the six friends made their way to the parking lot to meet May who was on pick-up and after-party duty. They somehow squeezed into just four seats and sputtered along home, already reliving the fun night.

At the Parker’s apartment, everyone changed from their suits and dresses into pajamas. Since it was late and everyone’s parents were comfortable with the other kids, everyone was staying at Peter’s, boys in the Peter’s room and girls in the living room. Once changed, they made their way back to the living room for games until the energy from the dance wore off.

They started with charades and broke into three teams of each person and their date. Round after round, Peter and Y/N got far more answers correct than either of the other teams – even doubling their answers one time.

“You’ve got to be cheating!” Ned and Abraham nearly shouted, happy Peter was doing well with Y/N but not happy enough to be ok with losing.

“Nope! Peter and I are just on the same page,” Y/N teased, looking over to Peter with a cheeky grin and wink. Peter reveled in it – celebrating their wins every single round, high-fives, hugs, joking, and teasing the others – it was perfect. He watched her react to Betty struggling to guess Ned’s obvious clue and sat back in his seat, realizing that, more importantly than how his night went, she was back. Y/N seemed like herself again.

As the charades intensity began winding down, Peter suggested a movie. He clicked on _Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back_ and half-sat-half-laid into the left arm of the couch. Everyone else found places around the room and Y/N scampered over right next to Peter. Once the movie started and sound took over the room, she scooted even closer to Peter and tapped on his shoulder.

Peter nearly leaped up thinking something might be wrong, but her calm air told him otherwise. Y/N pointed to his shoulder again and he opened his arm and ushered her in. Her head pressed down between his shoulder and chest and he wrapped his arm around her such that his hand rested on her back. 

A bit into the movie, Han Solo delivered the line they joked about earlier – he told Princess Leia he loved her only for her to tell him “I know.” Y/N smirked up at Peter and he titled his head to gaze down at her eyes reflecting the movie light. She nestled in tighter, head almost in the crook of his neck, and draped her arm up and around his torso. He sighed as she held him tight and let her eyes drift closed, breathing deepening with every minute of the movie passing by. Peter felt himself nodding off, but not before he peered down to see Y/N somehow still grinning, muscles relaxed and heavy as they pressed into his side. More comfortable than ever, he lay his own head on top of hers and let himself start to go.

“I love love you,” Y/N suddenly whispered, catching him just before he slipped.

“I know,” Peter giggled, hand gently tracing circles on her back. Y/N felt his chest rise and fall as he laughed. “And I love love you, too.”

With warm smiles decorating their faces, they drifted off to sleep, no dream nearly as magical as reality.


End file.
